BDSM 101: Safe, Sane, and Consensual

I’m sure you have heard about the best seller “BDSM” book, Fifty Shades of Grey by now. It was such a hit that Hollywood made a movie version of the book which was released in February of 2015 and Fifty Shades Darker, the second book to the trilogy in February of 2017. Unfortunately as popular as it is, the book is in no way an accurate representation of the BDSM community or safe BDSM practices. Here is what real BDSM looks like:

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Submission, and Masochism. At its core, it’s all about finding pleasure in pain and playing with different social roles in a sexual setting. What makes BDSM different from abuse is that it is CONSENSUAL. There are three “pillars” if you will, that make up BDSM:

  • Safe- BDSM is always safe and participants plan at length to make sure everyone involved is physically, emotionally and sexually safe, by using STI protection and good communication.
  • Sane- There must be thorough and clear communication before, during, and after “play”. All parties must be able to consent, not under the influence of any drugs or alcohol when consent is given.
  • Consensual- Everyone involved in a scene must discuss their boundaries, limitations and their plan for play. Create a safe word so that play can be stopped if someone becomes uncomfortable. Remember without consent, BDSM is ABUSE!

After care is also an important part of BDSM. Both dominants and submissives need time to talk to each other and make sure everyone is ok. Take your time to make sure everyone is comfortable with what happened during play and even follow up a few days after. Here is a great video that explains the essentials of BDSM- Laci Green BDSM 101.

Now for all you kinksters that are either well acquainted with BDSM or are just starting to explore this counter-culture, Manchester Adult Life Styles is prepared to meet all of your BDSM supply needs. Come stop by our shop or visit our website to see our vast collection of different “tools of the trade” and feel free to talk to one of our friendly and knowledgeable staff members for advice and suggestions on our products.

 

-Written By Freelance Writer and Artist, Dani Peasley. She can be reached through email at myrandomcat@gmail.com

info@manchesteradultlifestyles.com

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